:: Ku Di Dalam Dilema Mu ::

Razi teman Opah pergi hospital

This picture captured during our way to Orthopedic HKL..One will not understand the pain until yourself yang kena. Mak dah betul2 teruk. How I'm supposed to explain to people that's they will be not much time left for Mak. Bukan aku mendoakan Mak pergi,tapi aku tau sakit Mak camne.Dulu ok lagi baring tak terasa sakit tulang belakang tu,tapi skrg even baring da sakit.Mak cakap kat belakang kat pinggang tu macam dicucuk dengan besi tajam.Bahu mak jatuh sebb rasa berat,ibarat orang tarik tudung awak dari belakang tak lepas2..Sakit hati tak?Macam tula rasanye. Leh imagine tak? Kalau baring pun da sakit,berdiri,berjalan,duduk semua nye sakit.Kalau na solat pun,pegi bilik air,amik air wudhu,solat duduk,pastu terus baring balik. Sanggup tengok mak korang camtu.Kalau dia jatuh?Tak paham ke..Sakitnye hati aku...Hari-hari melihat Mak menahan kesakitan, terasa sedih sangat hati ni.Tapi orang tak paham.

Macam abang la..Aku sedang dalam dilema skrg ni..tak taula keputusan aku untuk resign tu betul ke tak.Abang suruh aku keje,katanya antara kami dua orang,orang yang paling last sekali kalau patut berhenti kerja adalah aku.Sebab aku ni ada potential growth,katanya lah. Kejela rajin-rajin.Bangun pagi,pergila kedai arwah tu.Takpun,abangla sacrifice,resign kat hilton tu.Full swing jaga kedai abah.Nape lak aku yang kena sacrifice.lagipun bukannye aku na resign selama-lamanye,tanak keje langsung..Letihla..Nanti tgk bulan lima nanti,klu Ina da abis study,masa tu tgk cane,either aku akan keje atau pun aku sacrifice utk Ina dulu..
Aku pening pikir semua ni.Nak post kat sini pun aku takde mood.Agaknye if he's in my shoes,what will he probably do?I also don't know if I'm helping Mak enough if I'm staying at home.I'm not sure.
But one thing I'm sure working at my current company will not helping enough with our situation except for the big money laaa.Hehehe..That's one reason why Abang wanted me not to quit my job.If worsent event came upon us,I'll had my own income to cover myself even it's enough to cover the whole family,insya Allah. Rezeki Allah bagi. Aku teringat sms yang Hamdi, junior opis aku ckp 'Jgn sedih sgt. Kite cuma ada sorang mak dan ayah. Pengorbanan tu suatu yang mulia. Maybe 1 hari nanti akak akan bangga dengan pengorbanan yang akak dah buat'. Sms hamdi tu betul2 wat aku tersedar dan aku nekad utk resign..Ya Allah..aku tak tau na buat apa Ya Allah..Huuu...
O opp o Opp..Before I forget,Razi is 10 months, 3 weeks and 2 days old today.New words he said right now is 'sedap' every meal time and when people asked 'sedap tak?' Clever boy..Alhamdulillah.. and another words is everytime Mak sing sep sep sep, pom pom pom..he will reply pom pom pom.Hehe..kinda cute,eh?

He can sit and read newspaper.Hehehe..Cute kan?

~ s u h i d a ~